Cats are quite balletic creatures. The effortless way Merlot pulls a 180-degree arabesque-type move to lick her bottom is hugely impressive. I wish I were that flexible. Not to lick myself, of course. I’m not that kind of girl. But it would be quite handy when I’m crouching down to clean my industrial-sized oven. I hung up my point shoes [...]
It's alarming admitting this, but I have something in common with goldfish. There isn’t much online about their IQ. Some say it’s as high as 90 (I know a few people like that), some say they’re as dumb as dirt, barely above an amoeba (I know a few people like that too). Either way, they’re not known for their attention [...]
When was the last time you did something for the first time? This was the question posed by some TV ad a while ago. I can’t for the life of me remember what they were trying to tempt me with. It may have been timeshare in Kazakhstan or ointment for an embarrassing rash. Who knows. The brand didn’t stand out, [...]
It started with a disconcerting noise. There I was in my office, minding my own business, quietly tapping away at my keyboard when a strange scratching and Merlot’s pointed study of my desk drew my attention. Now Merlot is a cat given to staring, but only at her food bowl. When it’s empty. Furniture doesn’t normally feature in her [...]
When it comes to Christmas, I don’t just deck the halls, I deck positively everything. Nothing quite as marvellous as excess at this time of year. Which is why I have a wreath not just on my front door, but also on my back door. It’s been there since mid-November. This weekend, the tree goes up. I don’t know [...]
Cattle, much like cats, aren’t known for their ability to take direction. Which is why every cattle or dairy farm I’ve ever been to has a cattle crush. What is it? Think of a passage with fences on either side. Cattle go in one end and patiently queue for whatever awaits at the other end. On good days, it’s just [...]